When I'm not writing

Posted on | Monday, April 25, 2011 | 8 Comments

I've been having trouble writing for a while. Some of it is fatigue, some of it is revision-i-tis, a lot of it is distraction (*cough* Royal wedding), but for whatever reason, I seem to have misplaced my words.


I don't remember the last time I wrote and lost myself in it. I've been deleting more than I've been saving, and that blank white screen? I swear my heart beats a little faster every time I see it. The cursor blinks and I blink back; we are like this for many minutes - sometimes an hour - before I go and ask Google whether anyone has leaked Kate's I beg your pardon, Catherine's dress design yet.


To some people, you are a Writer when you type The End on that first draft. Or when you score an agent. Or a book deal. Or an amazing review. Or when you hold your very own book in your hands.


My definition of a writer is someone who writes. Which sounds straightforward, overly simple, and maybe a little pretentious? Right now, though, it is simply a pain in the butt.


Because if I'm not writing - if the words aren't and haven't been coming - I'm not legit, right?


I know (okay, pray) it's just a slump, but the trick of the slump is that it feels all-consuming. It makes you feel like you aren't and never were legit. It threatens to go on forever. It calls you a poser, but without the word FIERCE in front of it.


I thought it only right:
Well, I am refining my definition of a writer because, quite frankly, this one sucks. It is still true, I think, but today I need a different one.


I am going to keep engaging in staring matches with my Word document because one of us is inanimate and doesn't have Twizzlers or people who tell it to keep going, so I am a writer.


I am going to read good books and I'll write one sentence and not be ashamed that it's only one, so I am a writer.


Eventually, one sentence will become a page and a page will become fifty, and fifty, one hundred, which is practically a novel. La.


I won't feel terrible when all I have done is hang out with friends or nod off reading a textbook. I will just clear some space to write.


(I also won't feel nervous/embarrassed posting this, because in between my adventures with OrRyanGosling and Johnny (Freaking) Depp which are all totally and completely true why do you doubt, words sometimes play hide-and-seek with me, and this is also true.)


So I am a writer.


I hope you are not experiencing and have/will not experience(d) The Slump. I also hope The Government approves my proposal to tattoo everyone who writes with this:


Found here. 


So we never doubt.


What is your definition of a writer, and how do you deal with The Slump?

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Comments

8 Responses to “When I'm not writing”

  1. storyqueen
    April 25, 2011 7:08 AM

    Maybe it's the phase the moon is in or something, but I am in the slump, too.

    Shelley

  2. Serenity Bohon
    April 25, 2011 7:41 AM

    Sign me up for the tattoo. And I'm so living in the one-sentence-will-eventually-get-you-there. I heart this blog. Can't wait to buy the books of the writer who wrote it.

  3. IanBontems
    April 25, 2011 10:05 AM

    Absolutely Sarah. I'm having mini-slump revision at the moment and I hate the guilt that comes when my writing just isn't flowing.

    And good for you in not feeling bad. Why waste time and energy beating yourself up about it? That energy and enthusiasm will be back.

    As for Kate and Wills (it is Willy rather than the other one, isn't it?) - there's no street party where I live, but I do get the day off. Bless them royals; I doff my cap to 'em.

  4. Kayeleen Hamblin
    April 25, 2011 10:26 AM

    Boy, have I been there. I hate the slump. My definition of writer became a lot more flexible, too. I'm a writer because I can't stop the ideas and haven't lost the desire to share them.

  5. Little Ms J
    April 25, 2011 2:40 PM

    Oh, sister. I can barely spell right now and have misused my good friends their, there and they're. Yes, I said it. I have lost my words too and I hear it has to do with pregnancy brain. One of my dear writer friends sent me a beautiful email the other day to tell me that my words were on holiday in Denver (where he lives) and they'd been keeping him company. He's writing like a freaking fiend and promised to give them back to me after baby. I hope they remember me.

  6. Hannah
    April 25, 2011 9:10 PM

    Love this post! The Slump: Boy do I know the feeling. Hope it goes away soon.

  7. Cambria Dillon
    April 26, 2011 11:00 AM

    Holy moly, I JUST blogged about this yesterday! Lately I can't seem to get into my WIP, into reading, blogging, critiquing, ANYTHING. I don't know what it is but since I came out and confessed about my writer/life funk, I've noticed more writers are admitting they're going through the same thing. Maybe it's the end of the Winter-itis our minds are shedding in order to get ready for Spring? I don't know...just glad I'm not alone in this and here's hoping it goes away soon!

  8. Sarah Wylie
    April 26, 2011 11:07 PM

    You guys rock - it's so good to know I'm not alone! *stamps everyone with LEGIT tattoo*

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I read, I write, I watch too much reality TV. I sing in the shower and in the car. I like things that make me cry and things that make me laugh. I imagine in a past life I was a world-class athlete, a saint, or at least a little taller. And now, I blog. I'm repped by Suzie Townsend at Nancy Coffey Literary. My debut YA novel, ALL THESE LIVES, will be published by FSG/Macmillan in June 2012.

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